It's Gettin' Hot in Here
- Joanna
- Oct 25, 2020
- 4 min read
Alright, ready to get sPicYYYyyY?? One of my all-time favorite snacks are flamin' hot Cheetos. In fact, I eat them so often now my taste buds are fried, and I only feel that sweet sweet burn from the "xxtra hot" ones. Everyone who knows me knows my obsession for them. They're my stress food, drunk food, driving good, bedtime food, shower food (jk.. Or am I? 🤔). I would prefer a bag of flamin' hot Cheetos over a bouquet of flowers any day. Since I don't really have a favorite, I decided to do a tiered review of the Flamin' Hot flavored chips, with my top favorites, good ones, and mehs (there's no such thing as bad flamin' hots). Anyway, let's get started.
ALL-TIME FAVORITES
Cheetos XXTRA Flamin' Hot / Fritos Flamin' Hot
Rating: A+
My all-time favorites are the XXTRA Flamin' Hot Cheetos and the Fritos Flamin' Hots. I will always keep one of those in my kitchen just in case. Everybody says the xxtra hot ones can be too spicy, but for me, it hurts so good! It also has a fuller flavor in my opinion, rather than just spice. My favorite thing is sucking the flavor off of them before chewing 😜 sorry, TMI.
The Fritos are surprisingly underrated! The flavor of the Frito part adds a nice saltiness to the spice, which makes them really unique. One thing that I've been wanting to do is make a Frito pie out of the flamin' hots. Yum!
FOR WHEN I NEED TO MIX IT UP
Cheetos Flamin' Hot / Cheetos Puffs Flamin' Hot / Funyuns Flamin' Hot / Doritos Flamin' Hot Nacho
Rating: A
TBH, this tier is best for bedtime munchies, when I'm sleepy enough to enjoy them at the same level as the A+ tier. The original Cheetos Flamin' Hots are a staple and will always be good at any time. One of my friends swears that they taste better when you eat them with chopsticks because the dust doesn't get on your fingers. However, I think licking the concentrated dust off is the best part! What COVID?
In my opinion, the puffs are even better, but they're so big and puffy that if you're not stuffing an entire one in your mouth, you're left with a bunch of crumbs (my bed looks like a crime scene). They melt really nicely in your mouth, but then it irritates your tongue a bit. Just be ready to be covered in red crumbs if you dare bite into one.
Original Funyuns are one of my favorites. However, the flamin' hot versions just taste like flamin' hot, and it either overpowers the onion flavor, or it's nonexistent. If I'm going to choose death by thousand tongue cuts, I'd rather go with the original version. Don't get me wrong, the flamin' hot version is still good though, and I will reach for a bag whenever I'm looking for something different.
The final one in this category is the Doritos. I discovered these in a variety pack that I got a few months ago. Thinking that these would be my least favorite, I was actually pleasantly surprised because they were actually one of my favorites! I'm not a huge fan of the Tapatio flavored ones and expected these to taste similar. Instead, they taste more like the classic nacho cheese flavor, but spicy. Personally, I will enjoy a little bag of the classic ones every now and then, so the fact that these are just a spicy version of them make them so much better!
WHEN THERE ARE NO OTHER OPTIONS
Cheetos Flamin' Hot Limon / Doritos Flamin' Hot Lime / Ruffles Flamin' Hot
Rating: B-
This next category I would dub my "gas station snack picks". I don't reach for these when I'm going grocery shopping or when I'm having guests over. They deserve better. Instead, these are reserved for that occasional road trip when you're just looking for something to munch on mindlessly, followed by a huge swig of Arizona iced tea (my guilty pleasure!)
The lime flavors in general are alright, but nothing beats the classic flavor. They also irritate your tongue more, which is why the Ruffles are in this tier. They are so sharp when you bite into them that the cuts in your mouth added to the spiciness just hurts like no other.
HARD PASS - I'D RATHER GO NONSPICY
Lay's Flamin' Hot / Lay's Kettle Cooked Flamin' Hot
Rating: D-
These are a no-go. I'm not sure why, but Lay's just can't get the flamin' hots right. Maybe it's a texture thing... but they just don't feel substantial enough compared to the others. Like they are too light and crispy and break before you can enjoy the flavor. The kettle cooked ones are interesting because I actually like the texture of kettle chips, but the flavor of these are way off. They don't taste like the classic flamin' hot flavor and have some sort of cheesiness to it that really threw me off. Don't get me wrong, I'm the biggest fan of cheese, but in terms of flamin' hot, these are just not it.
Wowww I've never had so much to say about chips before 😂. This week has been particularly bad, so I'm going to crack open an emergency bag of the original flamin' hot Cheetos that I've been keeping by my bed.
If anybody would like to start a conversation about flamin' hot opinions, feel free to share! I'm open to trying any not mentioned, or giving second chances.
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